As we look forward to the upcoming holiday season, I thought it would be appropriate to share with you the latest research by my little gardening books company, the Village Guild, into some little known applications of compost in ancient Egypt.
Preparations for Christmas festivities in Pharoah's Egypt began each year on 16th November. In the fashion of the time a lark was encased in a pigeon, which was successively stuffed into a chicken, a turkey, a pig, a camel and an elephant.
This was reverently placed in the base of a pyramid and encased with freshly cut reeds and camel manure. The pile heated to 150oF, becoming a slow barbecue.
The pyramids, of course, were a primitive form of tandoori oven. No flames were required, which explains why no soot has ever been found on a pyramid's internal walls. The required ventilation was provided by those large vertical air shafts, whose purpose is otherwise inexplicable.
Methane escaped in abundance, to be burned at the pyramids' tips. This illuminated the surrounding city at no charge to the taxpayer. (Evidence of ancient street lamps has never been found adjacent to the pyramids, because no lamps were needed.)
Pyramids in Egypt are widespread because they were erected in all the fashionable districts to serve, not only as a lighting utility and catering resource, but also as prime advertising sites. The building investment was recovered by selling poster space.
Forty days later on Christmas Day, the barbecue was ready. The juices had subtly intermingled, the toughest meats were transformed into tender explosions of flavour, and the innermost alchemy of the pyramids was finally revealed.
The lark had been baked to a tern.
Little known applications of compost
LOL! Another use for compost is to put it on your strawberries, but I've always preferred cream.
hehehehe, and un-composted bovine manure liberally applied by standing behind said bovine is why milkmaids have such lovely, creaming complexions!