Hey, Cowboy: The Wit of Will Rogers

Saw this on Yahoo Internet Life's daily e-mail today and knew y'all would appreciate it!

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Will Rogers was Cherokee and an Oklahoman. He was also famous as a stage performer and, later, as a newspaperman. He was killed in a plane accident in Alaska, along with Wiley Post (pilot), in 1935. These quotes are a mere sampling of the Will Rogers wit.

1. "Don't squat with your spurs on."

2. "If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there."

3. "If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."

4. "Never kick a cow chip on a hot day."

5. "There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works."

6. "If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."

7. "Always drink upstream from a herd."

8. "Never miss a good chance to shut up."

9. "We can't all be heroes, because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

10. "Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth."

11. "Live so that you wouldn't mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip."

12. "Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them."

13. "I don't tell jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."

14. "I'm not a member of any organized political party -- I'm a Democrat."

15. "All I know is what I read in the papers."

16. "Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects."

17. "Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people."

18. "No man is as great as he thinks he is."

19. "My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they met them at the boat."

20. "Even if you are on the right track, you'll be run over if you just sit there."

21. "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

22. "We'll show the world we are prosperous, even if we have to go broke to do it."

23. "Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth."