But have you noticed when you share with others not at RU's or DG members they would rather throw away plants than offer any to you?
One neighbor had an Meyer lemon that took 3 years to start doing well and they dug it up against my advice and just threw it away. Another I gave tons of plants too I just noticed dug out TONS of daylilies and not one was offered but went in to the trash before I knew it happened
David told me he noticed it too. So I would rather not share with those whom don't appreciate the plants and they are no more than trash to them.
I don't go around thinking they need to share with me but they all know I share with many more gardeners and if the plants are no more than garbage to them let them buy their own.
What do you all think?
Not meaning to sound rude
Well, I would hate to see my plants be discarded rather than given to someone to enjoy.
I guess sometimes people don't realize that the plants they have no use for any longer could be useful to someone else.
I guess but the ones I give to know I share any and all plants with a lot more people than them so my guess is they don't care as long as they are on the receiving end.
Well, some people don't love plants as much as we do, we hate to see any of our babies die, that's for sure.
It used to really bother me that a next-door neighbor would gladly accept healthy plants from my yard and even let me plant them in her yard, only to completely ignore them and have them die. But one day a friend said to me "Once you give a plant away, it no longer belongs to you." She was telling me this as a way for me to let it go. It helped a little, but it still stings to think of all the healthy plants I've watched go to ruin. Letting off steam here helps. :-)
Carla
I felt the same way as Carla. It was heart breaking and then she decided to get rid of many plants so all I gave her were sent to the landfill.
Oh so sad, I tell you, some people don't know a good thing when they see it.
My sister is a good person but she has a black thumb. Ive taken her many plants and even planted them but not until she really began to be interested in native plants did she start to care and tend to her plants. Many many plants died before then.
This year she brought me a gift of a carful of native plants she got for me at the NPSOT sale in her city. Ive given her some books about them and the more she learns the more interested she becomes and the more interested, the more she learns. She is on her way now.
I have to look at all those lost plants, azaleas, hydrangeas, Brugmansias as a good investment. Now my sis has a deep interest and a satisfying leisure activity that she can enjoy for a long time. She's getting the vocabulary and looking at what plants need now. Before, she just said, "Oh, that is so pretty. I want one! She raised a family. I did not. She's had a sick husband for most of their married life. I take all these into consideration when I think of her. I give plants away, willy nilly to anyone who passes by and wants one. I do not know if they live or die. It's just planting a seed. You never know if it will germinate.
I did learn my lesson with one such instance. A couple would ride by on a tandem bike and stop to admire my garden. They talked about their yard as sad, sad indeed. I offered to give them some native plants because they really had only a few plants. I took a wagon load of plants (I always have extras) and helped them plant them. I drew them a landscape plan and promised more plants to help them make it a reality later. Shortly thereafter I drove by there on an errand and it had been weed-eated to the ground. I saw them later and asked what happened. They told me a guy came by offering to weed eat the grass in their hell strip and he said there was no point in trying to grow those things I planted and so the husband told him to cut them down. If my knowledge is inferior to that of a guy who makes his living with a weed eater, then I can see I have no respect from them. I was in too much of a hurry to "help". I did not know them well enough. I just like to do what I was offering. We live and learn. I knew better actually and did it anyway. I guess I just learned that I was the one who wanted that more than they did.
Great point:
"I guess I just learned that I was the one who wanted that more than they did."
It's a hard lesson for any of us to learn and try to comprehend how we went wrong by trying to be helpful.
Well even though hard at times to afford postage on trades I will from now on offer them to those I know want them on here or plant trades and RUs where at least I know they may die as I have killed many and was trying not too. I will also offer for postage when I have a chance and the time to do it.
Yeah your right about our dream not being theirs
I feel better knowing I am not alone with the feelings I have.
Thanks
Because we gardeners love our plants we may wrongly assume others want the beauty but they may not want the work and may not want to spend the time required to maintain gardens. We just may mistake their compliments as being their wish for plants. It's one of those "live and learn" lessons.
You are so right Arlene!!
I agree it is live and learn. What I will never understand how they come to the conclusion we may not want their extras. But it is ok. If they want to waste money on buying and replacing they can do it without my help.
My one new neighbor that just moved in ask my advice on planting the front flower bed. I told them the secret is to water every day. It is surrounded by sidewalk and the brick of the home. It has never grown much in the 24 yrs I have been here but no one took the time to ammend the area or water it every day as it gets all the afternoon sun.
The rumor when they moved in a few months ago was I belong to a garden club :)
you do! DG.
I sure do :)