I'm feeling like a very bad, bad Cat Whisperer today. My neighbor (the same neighbor who called me about the GoBoys when they were abandoned on my road) came down here today with a beautiful kitten who showed up in his yard this morning, and of course he wanted me to take her in. I should have just told him to drive right back down the driveway without laying eyes on the kitten, but of course I had to see her. She was beautiful - a longhaired, dilute tortoiseshell with polydactyl feet, piercing eyes, and a heart-melting purr. I wanted so badly to take her, but I kept telling myself that the 18 cats currently living in my home have to be my first priorities, that I can't start accepting felines that other people bring me (I can't even keep up with the ones who arrive here unaccompanied as strays), and that maxed-out credit cards don't pay themselves. I forced myself to hand the little doll back to my neighbor and tell him to find her another home, but it absolutely broke my heart to do so. I've never turned away an animal to an uncertain future before, and I'm feeling like I betrayed both her and myself. It didn't help when my neighbor called me within 30 mins to tell me that he had given her to another neighbor where she would have a "good" home, because I know that those folks don't spay or neuter, and their cats are kept outdoors. Geographically, they are my closest neighbors (though 1 1/3 miles away from my farm), and I have long speculated that a number of my strays have come from their constantly multiplying pride (esp. since I've seen polydactyl kittens at their place before). So I am not pleased to know that they have now added yet another soon-to-be breeding queen to their supply. How many of this kitten's kittens will arrive at my farm in the years to come, I don't even want to imagine.
I need these felines to start showing up here with their own trust funds so that I can take them in without jeopardizing my ability to care for the current residents. I don't know how I'm going to get that beautiful little face out of my head. My heart hurts.
Laurie
