WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Chicken Humor
Only one decent answer.
I have always heard the chicken crossed the road to show the possums it could be done. LOL
Well, personally......my chickens NEVER cross the road. They like to get in the ditch alongside the road and eat frogs and bugs etc. but they never have got up in the road. They know where "home" is and always return to the coop at dusk. :)
to funny
Good one! At first, I wasn't gonna read it all.. but then I started laughing.. IMHO Grandpa has it right! :)
On another thread, Darius said a chicken crossing the road was called poultry in motion!! ROFLOL
This is a very fun read. It would be lovely if chickens could cross roads together in peace but it seems all our chickens are white with numbers instead of names. They are forever riding around town in trucks headed for Gainseville, GA.. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/3124
I hope thay just meant fried chicken. I would never eat it with a fork. Now, chicken and gravy is a different story. I am partly civilized. In public anyways. LOL
Our oldest had an interest in, how should we say...primitive earth skills? He was forever running off as a late teen to dine on gourmet meals prepared by those in the know. The fare was anything run over on the road. Chickens would have been high on the list, I'm sure. I've heard about bear, beaver, possum, ground hog, squirrel and of course, venison. Looking back, I can honestly say that was not such a bad interest compared to what some teens are up to today. Unusual yes. lol
I was once gifted with "The Road Kill Cookbook" can't say that I've used it much...
I've got Calvin Schwabe's "Unmentionable Cuisine". I've used it more times than I'd like to admit. It spent years semi-reclining on a shelf until DD took up head to tail lamb slaughtering a few years ago. There was a large space between our kids and I thought I was off the hook with weird food. I've been the recent recipient of lamb offal and reproductive parts that will take some research as well as bracing to prepare. A smushed chicken in the road is sounding pretty good compared to what's in our freezer. Did I mention the goat leg?
Cajuns eat a lot other people won't touch. It's all in the preperation. Folks in these parts eat groundhog. I have not had the opportunity to try it but surely would. It's a rodent. From what people have said about it, it can be greasy. Sounds like a coon. You have to know how to process things to make them palatable. It's not just in the cooking.
To each his own...
Like Ma Ingles said,"Appetite is the best sauce."
I am a little scared to ask what lamb offal is. I like goat. I'll be breeding my does for milking so I'm sure we;ll be eating a few kids if they don't sell. I don't want to keep them. I'm just breeding for the milk. I will be breeding the two unrelated does to 2 different billies so the kids won't be related. Then I have the option to sell breeding pairs.
I've got one head plus kidneys, lungs and liver from four lambs. I've got boy parts from three of the four. I've cooked one liver so far and made a pate. Very good. I was able to go with something I'm familiar with in the liver preparation but the rest will be challenging. I saw a food program a few nights ago where the host was eating lamb boy parts with Mongolian tribesmen. They were skewered and grilled over an open fire. No herbs were mentioned. :>) I saw the prep and will try that on our fire pit come Spring. If I don't like it the dogs will.
We too love goat, especially curried. This was part of a tanning workshop that DD conducted and gifted to her by the organization that sponsored the workshop as an afterthought. It was not well wrapped.
We have seriously strayed from meandering chickens. Mea culpa.
Laurel
All sounds very interesting.
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in
your sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live
for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back,
and that is as a chicken.'
Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
home....
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking
the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first
day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside.
Like
I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster.
'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.
He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
head,
and heard.....
"BOB, wake up! You crapped in the bed!"
Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be.
LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!
Best pool shot by all naked white chick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdqB8ms1TYU&feature=fvst