Wrapping Gifts With a Cat

WRAPPING GIFTS WITH A CAT



Clear large space on table for wrapping your special gifts.

Go to cupboard and collect bag in which gifts are contained, and shut the door.

Open the door and remove cat from cupboard.

Go to closet and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

Go back and remove cat from closet.

Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
Labels, etc. . .

Lay out gifts and wrapping materials on the table to enable wrapping strategy to be developed.

Go back to the drawer to get string and remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit to collect string.

Remove gifts from bag.

Remove cat from bag.

Open box to check gift, remove cat from box, replace gift.

Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

Try to smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat

Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.

Cut second sheet of paper to size -- by putting cat in the bag the gift came in.

Place gift on paper.

Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach.
Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat

Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.

Spend ten minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of small nail scissors.

Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall to retrieve ribbon.

Try to wrap gift with ribbon in a two directional turn.

Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.

Repeat steps 12-21 until you reach last sheet of wrapping paper.

Decide to skip steps 13-17 to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of wrapping paper.

Put gift in box, and tie down with string.

Remove string, open box and remove cat

Put all packing materials in bag with gift and head for room with a lock on the door.

Once inside lockable room, lock the door and start over by laying out wrapping paper and materials.

Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and lock again.

Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat outside door).

Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best).

Discover cat has already chewed the paper. Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped you wrap gifts last year, too.

Return to lockable room, lock door, sit on toilet lid and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

Seal box, wrap with wrapping paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.

Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.

Unlock door, and go to kitchen to pour yourself a drink and feed cat

Spend 15 minutes looking for cat before reaching obvious conclusion.

Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat

Go to store and buy a gift bag

HAPPY HOLIDAYS