My Parker

Parker was a feral kitten I trapped along with his mother a year and a half ago. He was maybe 4 weeks old at the time. I had his mom spayed at a low cost clinic in Chicago, he was too young at the time. She was supposed to be released after the spay, but I kept her (she is named Camilla) and her son Parker inside. Parker always had feral tendencies, I could only touch him on his terms, Camilla I can't touch at all.

I decided to have him neutered. He never sprayed in the house, it was as a convenience to me, because I have 2 intact females, and I thought it would be easier if all the cats could live together, instead of in separate halves of the house. I took him to the same low cost clinic. A couple of days later he developed an upper respiratory tract infection, and went into hiding. All my other cats caught the infection, too, but are all on the mend.

Parker made a reappearance last Monday, just skin and bones (he was almost 15 pounds at the clinic when neutered), with his eyes gooped almost shut. He was terrified of the dogs, but let me wrap him in a towel, and I put him in a giant dog crate with a litter box, food and water. Since monday, he was not eaten, taken more that a lap or two of water, and not used the litterbox. He was going downhill quickly, rattling when he breathed, and eyes and nose heavily congested, and I made the decision today to have him put to sleep.

My regular vet wasn't in today, and we saw another who made me feel guilty that I didn't want the blood work and x-rays she recommended. He was just laying on his side on the exam table, in my mind he had given up. This was a cat I couldn't even reach out and touch, let alone pet or hold. She said he would need to stay at the office on IV antibiotics to even have a chance to make it. My regular vet would have never questioned my request to euthanize him. I explained that, though I hated it, I didn't have the money to try desperate measures.

I feel so guilty about everything. If I had never taken him to the clinic he wouldn't have gotten sick. (My son's cat went in at the same time, and also got the same virus 3 days later, so I'm sure it's something they picked up there). I just don't know why Parker didn't recover like the others.

There was no reason to neuter him, other than to make things easy on me, and now he's dead. I feel so horrible and can't stop crying. I don't even have a picture of him to post.

Deb