General Discussion & Chat: ۞ Sweet Interruptions ۞126, 1 by synda

synda wrote:
OK,I need to vent,whine what ever it's called trying to be ladylike this is a PG site....Yesterday the weather was beautiful,so I went out and planted some stuff and did what I could in between taking breaks.Overall good day.Last night I did not sleep one wink,finally fell a sleep around 7:30 am.SIL calls at 10:00am saying it's time to get up,I tell her I didn't sleep all night,her reply is well maybe you should take some benadryl.But I stay up and start my day......mom calls at 2:30 and I didn't answer because I had sat down to watch a soap at 1:00 that I like and fell a sleep.I call her back and she ask where I was and being honest, I said I fell a sleep.Her reply is maybe you're taking to much at night to sleep.I take what the Doctor has told me to take.Or I have heard some tell me I think you have your days and night mixed up.And yes what I take would make most people sleep for days.
But why is it when people can't or have no idea what or how you feel judge you.And that is what I feel from my family and some of my friends,that I'm being judged.Do they honestly think I enjoy staying up all night by myself,not getting things done throughout the day.I want to be normal so bad it drives me crazy.I want to go to sleep at night,get up clean my house,plant my flowers,cook a wonderful meal,enjoy going to town and to the store.I have a niece that is 21 years old and have ask her repeatedly to come help me clean my house and get a few things done,but my other SIL has her convinced I really don't have anything wrong with me I just am lazy and want attention.
Yes that has been my goal in life to hurt and feel worthless.Sometimes I get scared Rick will get tired of me not being able to do things and leave.
I'm sorry just having a bad moment.Thanks for letting me vent.