Rural Gardening: Adventures on Dirt Rich Farm (City goes Country), 1 by Hineni

Hineni wrote:
I realized I might be a little 'under-tooled' for my task, so I went back and got the hoe and the shovel. HA! Useless accoutrements in this place. These weeds all had to be...pulled out, by physical force. I made a little progress, as the lamb's quarters (at least I think that's what they are, correct me if I am wrong), and the poke weed, well, they just need a little encouragement to come out. Then I met....amaranth. It's innocent enough looking, little tiny seed heads in a reddish-pink, not even as tall as the other monster weeds surrounding it. It's a disguise, a ploy, to take you off guard! I grabbed a few stalks and pulled, didn't move. Hmmm. Must be the wrong angle (backed into the largest blackberry bush that I left and hopped around grabbing pantslegs for a few moments). Approached from another angle. This was very successful...for the plant, not me. As I put all my weight into pulling it, it broke off at the root and I fell completely backwards, head over heels, into a patch of poison ivy. You have never seen a mid-40's woman jump so high, and so fast as this chick, let me tell you. And then I literally busted out laughing. If anyone was watching, well, they shoulda served popcorn on that one. I do believe I saw the Pyr pups chuckling over that one...

But wait, I spied a VEGETABLE in the midst of the for...errr garden! A squash I presumed. Although at home in GA, squash I planted must have been the dwarf variety. These squash, well, let me tell you, they are SQUASH (maybe sasQUASH?) So I now had an objective...get to the squash!