Northeast Gardening: Ouch - my first real gardening accident, 1 by missingrosie

missingrosie wrote:
OK here's my sad tale - (oh boy I shudder and blush just thinking about it) It was a bright summer morning a few years ago. As early as it was ---it was already getting hot and steamy. I had just finished showering and had thrown on a summer shift. Rosie was waiting at the door to go out to do her business. While we were outside --and before it got really hot---I figured I'd check out was was blooming in the garden. Rosie was snuffling around trying to find the 'perfect' spot for her morning business. All of a sudden I saw Rosie jump back. She had gotten into a nest of bees in the grass. I saw/heard it happening and "TAWANDA" took over! (I loved that dog and would do anything for her ---including braving the wrath of a hundred yellow jackets.) Rosie weighed ~ 60 pounds and I realized that to pull her away... I would have to tug really really hard. Anyway, I have this metal 'yard bird' - made from recycled tools. It's toes --about four feet long (OK ... 7 inches but it seemed then that they were four feet long) are really the rusted tines of a pitch fork.. it's got some kind of long spokes coming from its head and very sharp 'wings.' Long story short --- it is DANGEROUS ! As I grabbed Rosie and jerked her back (with the sound of very agitated bees filling the air) I threw myself off balance.. Immediately behind me was that darn yard bird --ready to impale me! I started to go down right on top of it.... and somehow (STILL DON'T KNOW HOW) I flipped over it (like a somersault). I believe that it involved defying nature and the laws of physics..no kidding. The worst thing was that --as my legs went over my head and my shift followed immediately after ---all I could think about was that I DIDN'T HAVE ON ANY UNDERPANTS! Neighbors cover thine eyes! Yellow Jackets careful where you plant those stingers!