Northeast Gardening: My Heart is heavy, my grief is deep, my garden soothes me..., 1 by pixie62560

pixie62560 wrote:
This thread is not meant to depress or re-open any old wounds for anyone but to let you know where im coming from this week.....

I am due to fly out of here on thursday headed for Tampa to spend a few days with DD. Up until 2 days ago I was excited, nervous, and anxious....couldn't wait to fly out of here!
Today I am apprehensive, shaken to my core and totally unsure if I should still go.....here is what has happened for me to feel this way:

My son-in-law Shawn is 31 years old, he has been best friends with Ryan since they were 14 yrs. and freshman in H.S.
Ryan collapsed last week at home, they rushed him to the hospital, admitted him to I.C.U. with possibly Influenza. 3 days later he was moved to a regular room where he slipped into a coma. They life-flighted him to Massachusettes where they later pronounced him brain dead. It seems he had had a heart attack at his home and the hospital never caught it. His parents, and wife pulled the plug on Friday, he has a 2 & 5 yr. old children.

My DD Tiffany has been good friends with another girl named Tiffany since they were 12 years old. They went to prom together, graduated together, and recently shared stories of childbirth. Friend Tiffany has 2 little boys, one is 5 and the other is 2. The 2 year old was run over by his Uncle in a truck yesterday and was killed. To say the least she is devestated and so is my DD. My heart is breaking for these young families and I feel so helpless and do not feel like I should go on this vacation.

I have poured my grief into the soil of my gardens. Dug deep until my fingernails bled, pulled weeds until my back hurt and none of it has taken the pain away from my heart. My gardens will thrive from the pain and memories of this young man and little boy. I will find solitude and peace here after all is said and done, but I grieve for their families and for my own right now.
Because of this, I am having a hard time to looking forward to flying to Tampa. Ryans funeral is this afternoon and if I leave thursday I most likely won't be here for the little ones funeral.
I am so torn as to what to do.....please give me advice my DG friends!!

R.I.P. little Angel