Accessible Gardening: #21 Practical Matters for Phsically Challenged Gardeners, 2 by Agavegirl1

Agavegirl1 wrote:
Good Morning :D

Been both busy and tired the last few days so I\'m sorry I haven\'t gotten back sooner.
Still tired. LOL. Then again when aren\'t I tired?

Couldn\'t remember if you had mentioned you were going to TX or not. Most likely did but with my memory par for the course I most likely forgot. Airlines and flight delays, forced lay overs and mess ups (being polite and not using \'f\' word alliterations there.) *sigh* Thank goodness for the TSA and the fact they screen for handguns right?

Never was a fan of pre-nups unless they were mutually drafted together by both parties. Otherwise it seems to me if one person drew it up and expects the other person to sign then they are making specific demands and considering only their assets and covering their ass regardless of the other person.

Had a friend that had married a rather wealthy man that made her sign one. She was on a \'vesting\' schedule. If they divorced depending solely upon how many years they were married she would get only a certain percentage of his assets. He had it set at 10% for every 5 years of marriage! Seriously???

So basically he could behave as he pleased, do as he wanted, treat her as he felt like or abuse her and if for any reason she left she got virtually nothing. Why she agreed to this let alone married him was beyond my comprehension. Me personally I would have taken all the expensive gifts and the outrageous 6 carat diamond ring he gave her and pawned everything and beat happy feet. Lost track of her as I had many of my friends who live in L.A. Would have been interesting to know what happened.

All I know is the person with the gold has the control and I DON\'T like being controlled. I\'ll be poor and independent thank you.

Not an excuse, however, to not do ones part, contribute or provide in good times or bad. I just rather keep everything separate. We have agreed to who pays what exactly, how much we both contribute jointly, how much we each save (he has his checking/saving and I have my checking/saving) per month and what \'emergencies\' each person is required to cover should they arise.

We are also weird in that if you don\'t have the money to meet the obligations you agreed to then ask your family for it, work some over time or in my case do without it. If this doesn\'t work and you need to \'borrow\' from the other then an I.O.U. is issued and you are expected to pay it back or assume more of the other persons financial burden/obligations in equal value to the I.O.U. when you do have the money!

Husband did not like this initially but my reaction was, \"Oh well. \" Ex-fiancé cleaned my clock so bad the last time due to his irresponsible and childish spending that when I decided to leave all I had left was $50.00 in my bank account! Had to take out a consolidation loan to pay my bills and credit cards, sell everything I own and move home with my parents who btw paid for it and to support me. AND I NEV-VER heard the end of it. Still don\'t 24 years later. (Yet one more reason why I live across the country. Know my mother is afraid to fly and won\'t no matter what *cheese grin*)

So thus my accounting system.

Sorry to hear Jim got slammed twice with the alimony. God that just sucks!!! Grrrrrr!!! I always took to heart what my very first boss and best friend of 29 years told me when I was learning how to do my first management job, deal with unfair treatment from the higher ups, conversations with difficult customers, and when it came time to justify reasons to fire employees....THE POWER OF DOCUMENTATION!!!

Buy a notebook, write, write, write the days, dates, times, names of people, describe the incidents, the who/what/where/when/how\'s and why\'s. Make copies and keep PAPER receipts and file it away. You can\'t argue with documents that have signatures on them, company logos, etc. Always use duplicate checks for the obvious reason when making a purchase or paying a bill less someone claim you didn\'t.

Best piece of advice I ever got in all matters financial. Still do it to this day. Has kept me from being fired because I could prove my bosses were lying, kept utility companies and landlords from saying I owed them money, etc. Also was able to prove I was over charged, charged interest unfairly, etc. and got reimbursed for a lot of it. I do not pay bills on line. Nobody I \'owe\' money too gets free access to bank account or credit card numbers on line. I review my bill in detail and send them a check. They have to take it. It is legal U.S. tender and if they refuse it even if the money is there and the check is in full and sent in timely then I am not obligated to pay by law. Only exception to this is if they have a written statement that says they do not accept checks. As for money orders I photocopy them and the receipt from where I purchased them before I send them. (*grin*). Can\'t say they didn\'t get it. I usually send stuff like that registered mail where they have to sign for it. (*bigger grin*).

And in familial, friend or spousal relationships nobody can claim I \'owe\' them or didn\'t pay my fair share, etc.

Paranoia and suspicion is never good but I found it has:
A.) kept me and my credit out of trouble;
B.) kept me from being taken advantage of;
C.) kept me from being dependent or \'owing\' anyone or being obligated and having to hear it and hear it and hear it and the \'Well, I did this for you.\" and the \"I pay this...\" and the \"You don\'t pay your part\" blah, blah, blah.
D.) taught me how to be sharp, diligent, an excellent book and record keeper and responsible in how I budget myself and in being diligent in how I handle my financial obligations.
E.) kept the fights over money out of my marriage!

Did you know the 5 things couples fight about and most likely are to lead to divorce are:
money, kids, family, sex and work (be it outside or inside the home). Obviously I\'ve eliminated most of these. :D

As for gardens your pictures are just spectacular!!! :D :D Absolutely beautiful. Not sure how you got those busy birds captured in a photo so well but you did a most excellent job. The Crocosmia are lovely. They remind me of our Aloe Hesperaloe or officially known as the red yucca that the humming birds favor so much. Hysterical thing about that plant is that the \"Red Yucca\" is neither red nor an aloe. LOL The real \"Red Yucca\" actually has yellow flowers.

I hope you don\'t miss the poppies. Love them and would enjoy seeing them. One of my favorite wild flowers. So pretty with their long stems, vivid red-orange and delicate tissue paper like petals. The center is fascinating also.

Reproduction I did of Georgia O\'Keefe\'s famous red poppy painting. First painting I ever sold!!!
A picture of some young wild poppies that were growing in Wise Cactus\'s neighborhood.
will look for the pics of the Red Yucca...presently can\'t find them.

Peace. Out.
TTC